Smut Street: Fancy Peen and Mariah Ankenman
Excuse me, sir? If you don't have a piercing or a clit sucking tentacle, I'm not interested.
Summer is just around the corner, and for the first time in forever, I’ve got almost zero summer plans… other than writing. Which I absolutely love.
Two book signing events, two housesitting gigs—Napa, CA and Seattle, WA—and one concert in August—because I will never miss an opportunity to see the Goo Goo Dolls—but aside from that, this summer is all about writing.
I’ll have more on my next book soon—and even sooner for my paid subscribers—but until then, be sure to grab your copy of my latest, All Bats Are Off on Amazon. 💋⚾ It’s a 26k word, quickie novella which means it’s the perfect length for your next bathtub read. And also, naughty things happen in a bathtub!
Word of the Week
It’s book release week for me and my gay baseball novella, All Bats Are Off, and seeing as one of the MMCs has a pierced peen, it felt doubly appropriate to dedicate this week’s issue of Smut Street to fancy peens. 🤩
Fancy peens come in all shapes, sizes, colors, bumps, ridges, and hardware. For some readers, it refers to something more “monstrous” than the typical human anatomy. 🍆🐙 For others, it refers to some kind of body modification—tattoos, piercings, etc. Both of which—in my opinion, at least—are correct.
And as an added bonus, for all my monster smut lovers, have I got the resource for you. This one comes courtesy of a Reddit deep dive, which landed me here: on the Monster Academy website which has eleven separate spreadsheets on monster appendages, ejaculate, and more. Get ready to go down a rabbit hole…
I don’t publish this Substack series to self-promote, however when the opportunity arises… 🥰 One of the MMCs in my new baseball romance release, All Bats Are Off, had a pierced peen—a lorum piercing, specifically. In fact, here’s a small excerpt of the hardware in action…
Petra Palerno’s Bubble Babes series is the best kind of unhinged, something we can use a lot more of in our lives. In All I Wanted Was Sushi But I Got Abducted By Aliens Instead, the first book in the series, Ke’ain, is an aquatic-ish alien whose equipment features a special… sucker of sorts. One that aligns perfectly with the heroine’s clit. Overall, it’s not my favorite plus-size representation, however, it’s still a fun series worth checking out.
In between all of the monster romances with double dicks and barbs, Ursa Dax’s Resisting the Alien Rider has something a little different—a cock tail. That’s the best way I can describe it at least. Much like Ke’ain’s sucker, this prehensile tentacle is designed to stimulate and/or grip whoever or whatever it comes in contact with. Now, back to the pierced human peens…
I love Brittanée Nicole’s books, and Hockey Boy marks the first book in her Boston Bolts Hockey series. The camaraderie amongst the team reminds me of my own fictional baseball team, only in my books, the boys bond over movie nights and margaritas. In Brittanée’s books, they go and get pierced together.
Author of the Week
Whenever anybody asks me which authors I love following, Mariah Ankenman is always at the top of my list. As far as I’m concerned, she’s a marketing whiz, one who’s found the perfect balance between showcasing her personality and promoting her books.
Between her passion for aerial arts, cocktail recipes, tattoos, rainbow hair (often colored to match her books), tips for current and aspiring artists, there’s a lot to love about Mariah—even if you’ve never picked up one of her books.
Her latest release, Head Over Heels in Love, is the fourth book in her Jackson Family Distillery series, and she’s got one hell of a backlist if you’re interested in firefighters, aerial arts, and more.
Most importantly—and the reason why I enjoy her books as much as I do—Mariah does an incredible job of highlighting both LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent characters. ❤️🌈 Between the healthy representation and the hilariously, awkward moments—if you read The Wedding Dilemma, you’ll know exactly what I mean—she is definitely an author to add to your TBR list.
Hot Take of the Week
I know this marks two weeks in a row of talking about male genitalia in romance novels, but in my defense, I did just finish writing a male/male baseball book. That’s double the ding-dong! 🍆🍆
For this week’s hot take, let’s switch things up and talk about butts, and more specifically, butt stuff.
Any scene with butt stuff needs lube. Period.
This might not be a huge hot take amongst romance readers—plus anybody engaging in butt stuff IRL—but there are still romance novels being written in 2025 featuring anal play, sans lube. Even worse, there are some fictional characters out here using shampoo, saliva, and… pantry items in place of lubricant.
Can we not?
Got any more fancy peen romance books to recommend? How about a word or author you’d love to see highlighted in a future issue of Smut Street? Please let me know in the comments! Until next week…
Be feral. Stay dangerous.
xo